Guilt

We fear shame, regret, guilt in our society. Predictably perhaps, because our forefathers perhaps placed so much emphasis on those feelings. Now Do not mistake me to say that guilt is nessicarily a good thing. But I hear time and time again people saying 'never regret, don't look back"... now I am not stupid, I know that the people who say those things are saying "not to reflect on your actions." But lets not exchange one flaw for another. Yes, sometimes we feel guilty for the wrong reasons. But we should strive to understand those reasons. Guilt is like pain; when we are in pain, do we ignore it. Perhaps, if its for a sensible reason. But we always are aware of why we have this pain. And more often then not we remedy it. Ultimately, guilt is just a symtom of a larger issue at work. And most of the time we should not ignore it (there are times when we must ignore, but we always have reasons for ignoring it). Why do we feel guilty? Think carefully about it. Do not surpress it, understand it. Because, more often then not, there is a sensible reason behind it.

Vocation

I am sorry, dear friends, that I did not post last week. I have little excuse for not doing so, I simply forgot, shamefully.

I have learnt so much in these past few months. My life seems to be headed towards a brand new light. I am progressing. Before I was at a plateau. I believed in God, very mcuh so, but I was content with staying at that point. Now I am moving forward, becoming more of the man I was meant to be.
Because we are all meant to be something. This is what catholics call a vocation. We are all called to do something special and unique with our lives. I understand more then ever that my life is one of service to god and his people; in catholicism, service to god and his peopel requires tough decisions. Their are places for married men in the catholic church, but it feels like its still not completely normal. Even I have difficultly imagining what sort of life a man could carve outside of the priesthood or monastaries inside the church as a servant of god. But that is so much what I want and desire. I yearn to serve God.
How do we discern what we are suppose to do. I suppose there is no truly catchall answer. Every person is called to do something unique, and they are called in unique ways. But the best bet is too keep your heart open to the love of god. God will guide us to the truth if we wish.

Love

"Perhaps the inner motive is that the fact of being loved disinterestedly reminds us that we all need love from others, and depend on the charity of others to carry our on our own lives. And we refuse love, and reject society, in so far as it seems, in our own perverse imagination, to imply someobscure kind of humilation."
The Seven Moutain Story, Thomas Merton

At the heart of it all, there is love. I have said this before, but it always needs saying. And today I talk about love, just as I have tried to talk about faith and hope. Love is the very message of Christianity. Everything that has happened in the Christian narrative is because of love. It becomes personified in Jesus. And for a while, love seems defeated. The personification of love hangs upon a rough peice of wood. What is this love, that seems so easily put away by the authorities. And if it ended their, it would have been a horrible story. Indeed, in the Quaran, Jesus never dies, but is brought up into heaven. So afraid are we to see the apparent failure of love, that we cannot reconize its true nature. This is a love which cannot be denied. Even if you destroy it, it rises like a pheonix from the ashes. In the end, the personfication of love rises to live once more, and is enthroned. This is the message of Christianity, I don't care what you have seen or heard, this is what Christians are suppose to believe; love enthroned, love risen, love neverending. Patient, calm, without anger, love pure and simple. Uncalled for. Sometimes unwanted. Unconditional. Disinterested. This is what where called to do, first and foremost. To love all humanity with out thought to whether they deserve it or not. And I know, that some will disagree, stronger then they would with the hypcritical pharisee style christians. This love is more risky, more dangerous, harder, sometimes impossible. But through god, all things are possible.

This was a good post.
amen.